So you’ve been dumped and want to know how to mend a broken heart…Not the best feeling in the world, I know. We’ve all been there, and short of hiding in your bed for the next few days, there is little that can comfort you. You will probably go through an entire tub of rocky road ice cream, while watching a marathon of sappy romance movies, waiting for your loved one to call.
Sound Familiar?
These things happen every day, and thankfully these feelings pass with time. Falling in love has many risks, one of which you’ve just experience first-hand. Understandably, you probably want your old life back, but you don’t know where to start, how to mend a broken heart and you might not have the energy to even consider starting over at this point.
So What Can You Do To Mend a Broken Heart?
The first step towards mending your broken heart is to acknowledge the truth. Healing isn’t easy, and it usually isn’t a fast process. Generally you need to go through three separate and distinct stages. Once you recognize this, you can begin to chart your progress, which can make the process seem more manageable.
But again I would like to ask you one question- have you ever thought to give a try to get your ex back? If you feel he/she is the right person for you then I will suggest you to learn how to get your ex back. Look, I was in the same situation like you and I never gave up. Of course getting back together with ex might not possible in all the cases and I can understand that. But still most of the breakups are reversible. So, take your time and think once more before you decide to move on.
If you have already decided not to get back together with ex, then continue reading about how to mend a broken heart.
The First Stage – Pain and Hurt
This is probably the most difficult stage in this process, and certainly the most painful. You will probably cry. You will definitely be depressed. You may wonder how you’ll ever live without your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. How to mend a broken heart? Many people embarrass themselves by leaving numerous messages for this person, verging on the cusp of becoming a stalker! This is the stage when you hear about people driving past their former lover’s house, or place of work, possibly for the chance of getting a look at them, or possible to catch them with a new lover. You may also end up eating more than usual or nothing at all. Essentially, you are a hopeless mess!
Coping – How to mend a broken heart at this stage? Having a few good friends or close family member close by is a valuable resource to have during stage one. You can rekindle certain relationships that may have fallen to the wayside, and talk to older, wiser family member to see how they dealt with problems in their relationships. Gaining insight from those close to you is important and comforting.
Try to remember all the things that make you happy in your life. Whether it be good friends, a close family, or a fulfilling job, we all have things in our lives beyond our romantic entanglements that bring us joy and peace. Hold onto these things. You can also focus on tasks you may have been putting off. Many people like to do something productive and time consuming, such as organizing their closets or sorting their garage. Take this time to focus on you, and don’t let this break up consume your life.
The most important thing to keep in mind while coping with stage one is to acknowledge that this process of normal, and even healthy. Grieving a relationship takes time, and nothing can really help you at this point besides the passage of time.
The Second Stage – Make Things Even
Most experts agree that the next natural stage in any grieving process usually involves anger, and mending a broken heart is no different. You may ask yourself ‘where do they get off dumping me!’ You might vow to get back at them, and make them hurt as much as you have. You will probably start dating during this stage, though these subsequent mini relationships are just rebounds. Almost every person who goes through these stages will have at least one rebound relationship. Most do not last, and are simple attempts to hurt your former lover.
Coping – It’s important to remember that once you’ve reached stage two that you are halfway through! Anger is a healthy feeling to have, in small doses, and it is a normal way to react to a situation such as this. How to mend a broken heart? The wrong thing to do is to let this emotion get the better of you. If you do, you will end up doing things you may regret, including unhealthy rebound relationships. Instead, try burning love letters, or posting a picture of your former lover and tossing a few darts at it!
Another great coping method during this stage is to finalize the end of the relationship by ridding yourself of everything that reminds you of him or her. I’m not telling you to toss every single thing of course. Years from now you will want a few tokens to remember them by, but it’s a good idea to FedEx them back that old sweatshirt of theirs that you’ve been wearing, or their Van Halen CDs that you don’t even listen to! What you do keep should be a reminder, down the road, of how well you handled this break up, and how far you’ve come.
The Third Stage – Getting Over it and Moving On
Eventually you will wake up, and realize that the pain is gone, and you haven’t thought of your old flame in days, or even weeks. You’ll ask yourself what you saw in that man or woman in the first place. Nothing they could do or say can bother you now, and in fact you are happy in your own life, and wish them well. Maybe you have a new love, maybe not. The important part is that you are living a happy life, and you have moved past the heartache and the pain.
Coping – You’ve finally made it! When you get to this stage, you have gotten to the point where your life can truly begin again. How to mend a broken heart at this stage? This is the time to start new relationships; relationships that will last, and aren’t rebounds in any way. When you come to this final stage, you will realize that you are once again that vibrant, happy person, or maybe something more…you have survived a tough breakup, and come out of it a stronger person; something to be proud of.
It always helps to remember through this process that tomorrow is another day, and there is always another man or woman, and a second (or third…etc.) chance at love. You need to pick up the piece of your heart, and prepare yourself for a journey of grieving and self-discovery. Once it’s over, you will be happy that you did, and ready for the next stage of your life. How to mend a broken heart? As the old adage goes, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince! This goes for men and woman alike. Rarely do you find the love of your life on the first, try, or even the fourth! Finding true love takes time, but when you find it you’ll be glad you persevered!
In case you want to know how to get your ex back then you might want to read the below two articles:
As a friend, I just want you to be happy and hope I helped you a little suggesting about how to mend a broken heart.
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